2 ½ stars (out of four)
Immature manboys have all but taken over Hollywood comedies
these days (though the occasional bridesmaid has been known to encroach on
their territory). Part of the joke of Ted
is that the overgrown child at the center of it spends all his time with a
none-too-subtle symbol of his unflagging adolescence: a walking, talking,
pot-smoking teddy bear.
Once upon a Christmas, a young boy named John wishes on a
shooting star for his Teddy to come to life (he’s had no luck making friends
with the neighborhood boys in the Boston suburbs). Sure enough, the next
morning Teddy is alive, speaking freely in the high-pitched squeak of a
Tickle-Me-Elmo, and he quickly becomes a media sensation.
Though all boys must grow up and every celebrity’s fame
fades eventually, the bond between a boy and his bear is eternal and we catch
up with John and Ted in the present day. Young John has filled into the bulky
body of Mark Wahlberg and though Ted remains the same cuddly size, his voice
has deepened into that of Seth MacFarlane’s. (Mr. MacFarlane, who created and
provides voice work for Family Guy, directed
and wrote this movie with Family Guy writers Alec Sulkin and Wellesley Wild).
John works for a rental car company where his boss tells him
he is a shoo-in for the soon to be vacated branch manager position. But
responsibility isn’t nearly as appealing as lighting a bong with his plush pal.
John also lives with Lori (Mila Kunis), his girlfriend of
four years. Lori is a woman of remarkable patience and understanding but can
you blame her for wondering when John will actually grow up? Ms. Kunis is a
good sport too. She’s a talented comedic actress and Seth MacFarlane presumably
knows this, having brought her over from Family Guy. If he truly liked her though, he’d throw her a
funny line once in a while. Lori is that familiar Freudian blend of hot
girlfriend and doting mother figure that is a fixture in comedies like this.
The plot requires her to push our lovable lug out of his juvenile rut and into
the frightening world of adulthood.
But the looming threat of a bromance break-up is not the
only thing facing John and Ted. A wildly over-the-tip Giovanni Ribisi shows up
to steal a few scenes as a grade-A supercreep who wants to buy Ted, and Joel
McHale makes an appearance as Lori’s smarmy boss. Now, I like Joel McHale on The
Soup and Community but, boy, does he have a way of sucking the wind out
of a joke. Some comedians’ humor just doesn’t translate to the big screen.
He most noticeably pales next to Mark Wahlberg. Mr.
Wahlberg’s comedic timing is spot-on and he takes the dramatic portions of the
script dead serious, which is, of course, hilarious. He looks genuinely torn
between the love of his life and his best friend and without that dogged
commitment to the role, I’m not sure how much of the film would work.
Ted himself is also convincing. Where computer animation
stops and animatronics begin, I couldn’t say. He has an expressive, animated
face and his movements are clumsy the way you would expect of a stuffed animal
with stubby legs.
It has been well noted that the humor of Family Guy relies heavily on regurgitating nearly forgotten
bits of pop culture from the last three decades or so. The great irony of that
show is that it is now syndicated on every channel imaginable and has become
saturated into the very pop cultural landscape it recycles for jokes. Perhaps
predictably then, Seth MacFarlane winds up recycling bits from Family
Guy here.
In addition to plenty of cutaway gags and “Remember this?”
pop trivia, Ted features big band jazz
during transitions and a prolonged and brutal fight scene, all of which are
Family Guy staples. (Regrettably, there is no musical number.) When Ted
remarks at a party, “Come on, I don’t sound that much like Peter Griffin,” the
line gets a laugh. For Seth MacFarlane, I imagine there is no greater barometer
of success than becoming his own reference.
This being his first feature film, Mr. MacFarlane goes
all-out. Just because there have already been two celebrity cameos does not
mean there’s no room for a third (plus an unexpected narrator). Ted is as vulgar, racist and homophobic as any recent
R-rated comedy, delivering all its gags in equally tactless measure. A few fall
flat because, well, because they’re not funny. A joke made in poor taste is
not automatically a good joke and Mr. MacFarlane sometimes forgets that. He
also takes potshots at easy targets and he’s shameless about it. (Really, do
you need to take a jab at Justin Bieber or Katy Perry? As someone who appears
on a lot of Comedy Central roasts, Seth MacFarlane can do much better than
this.)
Ted has the makings
of a hit and Seth MacFarlane will no doubt make another movie. But if he wants
to stay a relevant figure in comedy, he’ll have to stray further outside his
comfort zone next time. Otherwise he may become the victim of one of his own
cruel jokes (“Seth MacFarlane, remember him?”). Until then, he scores some easy
laughs.
- Steve Avigliano, 7/2/2012
