2 stars (out of four)
Snow White would seem to be a sturdy enough classic for
another pointlessly gorgeous reimagining but when the quality of
storytelling is this lazy, the barrage of dazzling effects feels like an
exercise in extravagance or, worse, like a crutch.
The tale is a familiar one though perhaps told a shade
darker than usual. A deceptive beauty named Ravenna (Charlize Theron) weds a
widowed king and, after murdering him on their wedding bed, claims the throne.
She has a grab bag of magical powers that include eternal youth, great strength
and, I’m pretty sure, a few telekinetic abilities. The one condition of her
sorcery is that she must be the fairest woman in the land. So she rules her
kingdom with tyrannical vanity, literally sucking the life out of all the
pretty girls. Assisting her is her brother Finn (Sam Spruell), a wormy creep
who steals the occasional incestuous glance at his sister.
Ravenna’s rule is threatened when one day her talking mirror
delivers some bad news: She is no longer the fairest of them all. That title
belongs to the recently matured Snow White (Kristen Stewart), the King’s only
daughter and rightful heir, who has been locked away in a tower since the
Queen’s takeover years earlier. (One of the biggest suspensions of disbelief
the film asks of us is accepting that the pouty Kristen Stewart is fairer than
Charlize Theron.)
The rivalry between Snow White and the Queen is never absorbing
though, largely because of the performances of Ms. Stewart and Ms. Theron. This
incarnation of Snow White, with a vaguely weepy expression permanently fixed on her
face, is a lousy heroine. She has no spunk or life; she wanders around without
agency, letting other people make her decisions for her. Ms. Theron, meanwhile,
turns the dial to eleven too often, too quickly, never giving the wretched
Queen a chance to earn her reputation as a feared villain. She is loud and
shrill but not menacing.
Actors take a backseat to everything else in this movie
though. Snow White escapes into the Dark Forest, which gives the film’s art
directors and set designers another opportunity to flex their creative muscles.
Look out, Snow White! That tree branch is really a snake! Get down! A troll is
heading right for you! One after another, the movie throws its ideas at us but
they do not add up to anything; the filmmakers fail to build a cohesive world
where all these different parts could fit together.
The only two men brave enough to face the digitized terrors
of the Dark Forest and find Snow White are a huntsman named Eric (Chris
Hemsworth), who the Queen hires by dangling before him the prospect of reviving
his dead wife, and William (Sam Claflin), a childhood friend of Snow White’s.
Eric and Snow White engage in the standard squabbling between movie tough guys
and distressed damsels but wait! Did they just share an extended, melancholic
stare? Yep, they must be in love. They are, after all, the film’s top-billed
stars so a romance between them is a foregone conclusion. Add the old friend
William and we have ourselves a love triangle. (Never mind that William is a
total bore.)
Some dwarves show up too (seven of them) and they take turns
being quaint, wise and off-color. Like everything else in the film, however,
they are cogs in a beautiful machine that has no purpose or function. The final
battle is predictably well shot and edited but also dull and forgettable.
Snow White and the Huntsman is also hurt by a clunky script full of groaners spoken in
faux-Victorian language. Movies like this tend to fall back on flowery dialogue
in an attempt to cover up how vacuous the characters’ conversations are but all
this really does is force us to decode the language before we realize just how
dumb it is. “The forest gains strength from your weakness,” explains Eric. All
right. Whatever that means. Later, when giving Snow White advice on how to kill
a man, he instructs her not to remove her dagger until she sees her victim’s
soul. What? This guy is a master hunter and that’s the best tip he can give?
The movie assumes we will take its hokey, underdeveloped mythology
wholesale and without question. There is magic but we never get a sense of its
limits or its rules. The spells and curses and fluttering fairies only exist to
justify the top shelf set pieces. Snow White and the Huntsman tries to be epic and profound but all it is is
sleepy and dopey.
- Steve Avigliano, 6/4/12
